‘A thoughtful and sensitive discussion of contemporary American boyhood that calls upon the best of the psychoanalytic tradition and offers us a wisdom that comes from a long clinical tradition.’
Dr Robert Coles, author of The Moral Intelligence of Children
‘Just as Reviving Ophelia opened our eyes to the challenges faced by adolescent girls, Real Boys helps us hear and respond to the needs of growing boys. Illuminating, exciting, and courageous, this book should be read by everyone concerned about boys. It is a beacon of hope and a gift to all of us.’
Judith V. Jordan, PhD, assistant professor in psychiatry at Harvard Medical School
‘Deals with the detrimental influence of societal stereotypes on masculinity — and how a steady process of humiliation serves to indoctrinate boys to an unhealthy mode of being … As they grow up, he says, they experience steady indoctrination by well-meaning fathers, mothers, teachers and coaches who use shame and humiliation to force them into something he calls “the boy code (defined as the belief that there is only one route to healthy masculinity that a boy should never “act like a girl”).’
Pandora Hopkins, Human Dignity and Humiliation Studies
‘In a lucidly written primer for parents, Harvard Medical School psychiatry professor Pollack dismantles what he terms the “Boy Code” — society's image of boys as tough, cool, rambunctious and obsessed with sports, cars, and sex. These stereotypes, he argues, thwart creativity and originality in boys. Linking clinical insights to practical suggestions, Pollack advises caregivers how to help boys repair their fragile self-esteem, develop empathy and explore their sensitive sides … his manual is enlightening and stimulating.’
Publishers Weekly
‘A cogent and moving demonstration that Hamlet needs help, too.’
Ray Olsen, Booklist
‘Any parent will find this an intriguing, immensely readable book.’
Alice Cary, BookList
‘Dr Pollack’s book Real Boys sets out to debunk and revise many of the myths … regarding what it means to be a boy and a man. His main premise is that boys are forced to live up to two codes of acceptable behaviour (traditional masculinity and new age sensitivity), they are separated too soon from their families, and are expected too often to repress many of their true emotions … It looks at myths of masculinity, and the truths and untruths that lie behind the mask. It gives relevant and useful information about how we can overcome “Gender Straightjacketing”, and provides new views of social problems such as drug abuse, teen violence, sexuality, suicide, and divorce. In light of his new vision of masculinity he offers some good advice and long awaited council. This book is a must for all parents, teachers, and professionals who work or live with boys.’
Jay M. Dunlap, The Literary Link
‘Real Boys is a thorough and practical work, addressing parenting roles, depression, violence, divorce, sexuality, schools, substance abuse, relationships, and sports. Pollack’s insight is based on decades of research and immersion into the world of boys through his clinical experience and research.’
Annamarie Knapp, bookreporter
‘Substantial and well-documented … The book is peppered with numerous practical hints as to how to implement the overarching principle of loving our boys and supporting them up to any limits they may choose to set. It also includes a wealth of individual stories of real boys and their struggles. Some stories are deeply moving, others just as profoundly disturbing … Over and over again Pollack reminds us that simply listening to your sons with love and without judgment can make a critical difference as they struggle with the complexities of growing up and becoming young men in our perilous society. And, most importantly of all, we support them by giving them the gift of bountiful love in a form they can accept and even cherish. This simple truth may be this book’s most valuable lesson.’
J. Steven Svoboda, MenWeb
